How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking
The most important factor in public speaking is having the right mindset…
Speech anxiety
You have speech anxiety because you were probably never taught public speaking growing up. Think about how many classes you were given in during your life in public speaking.
So the main reason you have speech anxiety is that you are underinformed.
The good news is that you can learn how to speak confidently in public even if you have no experience whatsoever.
#1 No, they can’t tell
Most public speakers aren’t scared of the speaking part. They are more scared about looking nervous in front of the crowd.
They think that if they feel nervous, they will look nervous and ugly in the process.
Is that true?
Nope.
People CAN’T tell that you are nervous from your appearance… Read about the illusion of transparency – when you think your internal nerves are leaking out to the external public.
But obviously, be aware of your body language. Fidgeting & squirmy behavior is a different story, lol.
Now for the quivering voice.
It’s usually a problem in the first 20-30 seconds of a speech max. But it goes away on its own. Most quit too soon to understand that it melts away.
Remember, the audience only remembers how you finish. So it doesn’t matter as long as you finish well.
#2 Not what you say, but how you say it
Your speech needs to have a clear purpose and theme. But the exact words don’t necessarily matter to the audience.
This is good news for you because now you don’t have to worry every time you say a filler word, stutter, or have a grammar mishap.
Your primary focus should be your energy. Public speaking isn’t delivery with your sentences. It’s delivering with your vibes.
Just show enthusiasm about your topic, and you will immediately connect to their primal side. That’s what you want.
A speech with a purpose delivered with enthusiasm is your recipe for success.
#3 Stage fright = Narcissism
Ironic huh? During stage fright, the speaker feels that they are the most important person in the room.
They believe their mistakes will affect the lives of others.
What if they don’t like me?
What if they laugh at me?
What if I accidentally curse? What will they think of me?
Me, me, me…
You do not matter as much as your ego has led you to believe. They will forget about you as you leave the room.
They will begin to worry about problems related directly to their everyday life.
So, breathe and realize you are just one tiny pixel in the picture of their life.
#4 What if I choke?
Then you choke. You realize that the world doesn’t end.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t practice beforehand. But if you gave your best effort to prepare and the nerves got the best of you, do not beat yourself up.
#5 How to practice public speaking from home
Record yourself speaking about topics that you actually care about. That is the core of public speaking. No audience is needed.
Find out what you stand for, and you’ll talk with purpose.
Delivering it to the audience is the easy part. Finding your ‘why’ requires work.
A major flaw is focusing on ‘how’ over ‘why.’
People wonder:
How do I move my hands?
How do I express my tonality?
How do I make eye contact?
What’s wrong with that? You begin overthinking your moves. But when you focus on the ‘why,’ your ‘how’ becomes a byproduct.
How to find your ‘why’?
Ask yourself why you are speaking. Because it’s a topic that you truly resonate with… you feel like it’s your duty to get the issue into other people’s minds… you feel like they will lose in life unless they digest your message.
As a result, you are not focused on your moves. You are more focused on providing value to others.
That’s when the whole game changes.
You automatically:
- move your hands with more grace
- have an enthusiastic tonality
- have stronger eye contact
So, pull out your phone and record yourself speaking. Don’t overthink. Just let your mind and choose the topics. Once you pick a topic, go off the top of your head and speak on it.
Don’t focus on how you look yet. Focus on your message. Create the speech with the intent of getting your idea into someone else’s head.
NOTE Pretend you’re speaking to a child.
Once complete, watch your tapes back. Now analyze your message and see how you can improve your delivery.
Your subconscious mind will soon begin to recalibrate.
#6 Practice
There is no shortcut.
If you want to overcome the fear of public speaking, then you need to practice.
Start with recording yourself and build some comfort.
As you audit your recordings, audit your:
Tonality
Hand Gestures
Stage Movement
Speech Entertainment
Once you have watched yourself speaking a few times, you will be confident to take it to the next step.
Gather 2-3 friends and give them a short speech about a struggle that you have recently faced and how you overcame it. Please keep it simple and make the speech 5 minutes long.
As you have gained experience, gather five friends and give another speech.
Then sign up for Toastmasters and give a speech.
Then volunteer to speech for an event.
You get the point. Start small and work your way up.
#7 Speech Simulation
Google a picture of ‘crowd staring at a camera.’
Pull up that image on a projector.
Now talk.
Your subconscious mind thinks you are giving an actual speech.
Note: This exercise alone will not eliminate speech anxiety but will put you on the right track.
Take this exercise one step further. Pull up a track ‘crowd noise’ from YouTube. This will help the simulation feel more real. You will now feel similar emotions as you feel for a real speech.
So now you have visuals + emotions, two components of subconscious rewiring.
#8 Never Apologize
The speaker sets the tone, and the audience follows.
If you begin your speech by apologizing, making an excuse, or being negative, then the tone is poor from the get-go.
If you are a beginner speaker, you may even apologize throughout the speech, hoping to get some sympathy from your audience.
But guess what?
They will not give you sympathy; they will give you pity.
Big difference.
Even if you forget a point, pause, smile, gather your thoughts, re-calibrate, and go again.
When you mess up, pretend like that’s what you were going for. Apologizing makes you look weak and will plummet engagement in the process.
In the real world, apologize when you are wrong.
In the public speaking world, think on your feet when you are wrong.
#9 Opening a speech
Never open with an excuse.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t prepare… oh well, here it goes…”
“Oh my, I’m soo nervous… oh well, here it goes…”
The audience does not know.
The audience does not need to know.
So how should I open a speech?
- Give a condition to make the audience raise their hand.
‘Raise your hand if you…”
This opener gives you control from the start. You are commanding your audience to take action. Make sure your condition relates to your speech.
- A shocking statistic
‘Around 8000 people are bitten by snakes, and only 5 die, let me explain.’
An out-of-the-norm fact intrigues the audience. If you have a stat that pops out, then go ahead and see if you can use it as an opener.
- A question
‘have you ever had a moment where you felt lost?’
This requires a head nod rather than a raised hand. More subtle but piques interest. Give them time to think, head nod or shake, then begin.
- Say something funny
Humour is a good way to start.
#10 Power Moves
- Tonality and hand gestures match
You want to use this move to emphasize or put a stamp on a point.
‘STOP’
Deep Tonality + Open palm facing the audience
- Tonality and face gesture match
This move can be sprinkled in throughout your speech.
‘I was feeling very homesick’
Sad, sympathetic tone + Looking down with a dropping face gesture.
The audience will feel your pain.
- The hooly trinity: Tonality, Face Gesture, and Hand Gesture Match.
‘And at that moment I felt like a KING’
Strong upper volume tonality + Confident smirk, strong eye contact + open palms above the shoulder.
The crowd will be blown away.
